my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
Sorry about my life...
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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