mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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