A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
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