Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
Randomize
