It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Randomize
