What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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