so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
Randomize
