I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Randomize
