I think i sorta joined a cult last night
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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