So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
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