just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
Randomize