Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
