Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
Randomize
