I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
