Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Randomize
