Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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