Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Randomize