peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
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