3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
