Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize
