there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
