You don't have asthma, your pregnant
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
Randomize
