remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Randomize
