Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
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