Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
this must be what syphilis tastes like
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Randomize