From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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