If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize
