I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Randomize
