He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
