I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Randomize
