I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
Randomize