This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Randomize
