garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
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