you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
Randomize
