absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Randomize
