there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
So gin and wine won't be happening again
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
Randomize
