when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
Randomize
