Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
she smelled like a LAN party
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
