can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
