the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
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