I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
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