i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Randomize
