Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Randomize
