thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
Randomize
