you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
Randomize
