States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
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