I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
Is Oprah even human
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Randomize
