so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
Randomize
