I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Randomize
