i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
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