No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
