btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
Actions speak louder than pants.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
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