I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
whose parrot is this?
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
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