is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Randomize