I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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