Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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