Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize