he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
I have feelings that need drinking.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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