yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
Randomize