I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
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